I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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