Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
