if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
her vagine was all disorganized.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize