When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
