One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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