the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sarcasm needs its own font
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my poor anus
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
