so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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