K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think people are normalizing furries
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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