Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You smell like stripper and shame
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
