you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
