bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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