Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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