You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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