my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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