..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
