Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
