He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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