I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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