i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
