It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
