I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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