I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize