? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize