tell your sister to shave her snatch
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
