i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We got so high we made milksteak
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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