I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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