I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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