I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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