at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
