Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
