What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
