I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
