so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This toilet bowl is my home.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
