Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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