Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
