woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
