He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ttyl tear gas
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I die, sorry about rent.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
