sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bring me that man meat
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
