Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
