I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
