Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The Olympian is in my bed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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