Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
