they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
