Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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