I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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