Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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