just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
