its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
