Me too!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
