the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize