either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
