I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
