I love black thongs
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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