your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just had sex on a roof
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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