I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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