Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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