he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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