they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
