yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I forget how to act sober
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
