yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
