I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
