In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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