$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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