I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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