I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
